Bad Memories
Gonna write down the past now, of a love I once knew
But I’ll leave out the sunshine, gonna leave that to you
‘Cause I’ll always do much better just thinking about heartache and pain
And to sit back in your house drinking wine and laughing is to call back the rain
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Oh, it’s never the bad memories that bring me down
It’s never a good time that turns me around
With every heart that I open and every year I grow old
I am more certain that I’ll never find no highways of gold
But something deeper within me - something that I’ll never know -
Is why I consider with a smile on my face giving love another go
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Painting In Ashes
If he went down to Georgia, must have come from Tennessee
Played on my heart there for a little while, put his hand up on my knee
I tried to abide him, but it only did me wrong
We only had so much to talk about before his eyes lighted on my songs
Quickly, so quickly back and forth I go
From bathing in gold summer sundown to his hands hard and cold
Taking and breaking grip, jaws and chain
I long to feel a kiss without a bite and the wind without the rain
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And now I’m painting in his ashes and singing in his memory
In the lamplight of a new home, where his steps are surely leading
My faith ain’t in my country, we’ll run her into the ground
My joy ain’t in the music, you know your ears grow tired of the sound
But better and better, truer than true
Daylight is coming for me and you
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The Light
Hey you out there, you don’t have to listen. Just do what you came to do
Some like talking, some like kissing, some want to stare at their shoes
I guess I’m speaking to the hungry hearted, I know a look on your face
Could be looking for a cause or reason you wound up in this place
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And I’m beginning to see the light
And it’s different than I had in mind
Hold her hand like she was water running through you, don’t try to stop up the drain
Together, you’re medicine on us and we are no strangers to pain
Some I walk into by living without looking, for some I am not to blame
Different settings and situations, but they all feel the same
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And I’m beginning to see the light
And it’s different than I had in mind
I see the pictures of you and me
And I look older than I thought I’d be
Some Days
“It’s gonna be the best”,
I tell myself every day
Gonna wear a big hat, big smile just for fun.
I think they’re gonna like me that way
But I hear demons singing, “ooh-hoo, ah-ha, ladida”
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“Gonna rip you apart, start with your heart
Leave you hanging in the wind. We know you think you’re smart
Tell us why do people breathe? They never want what they need”
That’s what they say, but that’s just some days
I wake up thinking about the big wheel coming ‘round again.
Gonna press my feet, move over my spine
I’ll grow my hair real long so you can help me out
Pull me up by it from the ground, stand me back in line
And I’ll wake up singing, “ooh-hoo, ah-ha, ladida”
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Gonna rip you apart, start with your heart
Leave you hanging in the wind. We know you think you’re smart
Tell us why do people choose what they say they’d never do?
That’s what they say, but that’s just some days
Dreaming Of The Trial
I see a light up ahead, it’s calling me away
From a bitter-calm rest, my courages washes away
Because if I’ve done wrong, I already know
And if I’m gonna stride, better be a step down below
My heart used to pump life, now it just pushes out a chill
Little window to the grave and I’m standing on the sill
I want to say I’m not afraid, but want more not to lie
Oh I’m an open book, babe, even a fire won’t hide
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And there’s only one death I’m gonna die, there’s only one thing waiting on the other side
Oh I can see him now with my naked eye turning page after page, burning truth after lie
And I dream, I dream of the trial
Don’t want to look at the face that saw me make mistakes
Don’t want to feel those eyes, don’t want to live under their gaze
I can’t keep holding the hand that I pulled through my lies
Can’t live to be the man who watches a good woman die
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Wrongdoer
co-written with Simon Florey
When you told me all the wrong that you’d done,
It was like you’d found a new friend to pour your heart into
Keep a tight lip on the past with your son,
Maybe he won’t grow up to be like you
Maybe not, how could I know?
I’d been wrestling with the hand that had me down
You picked me up and sold me all the depths that you’d been to
I didn’t know what to do with what I found
After two long days of taking turns at the wheel and at the truth
At coming up and getting low
Could never be sure we were done or had years to go
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We share I the spirit of a wrongdoer
that look of “I know I could, but I won’t”
And I never felt close to you
I wish I did now, but I don’t
Driving all night on the stories we’d told
Suicide didn’t ever cross that road
Growing up is getting old
And If you leave you leave us all with a heavy load
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We share in the spirit of a wrongdoer
That hour when your angel’d come, you gonna turn him down?
He was holding onto you
Would you take it back if you could look at me now?
Look at me now
Sunshine And Clover
I’ve been beaten up, taken by the horns, thrown from a tall mountain face
And it’s my hand that does it. I feel pain, I’m not proud of it. It’s just another part of being awake.
Some people try to sit you down and tell you that they love your songs, “but are you really that sad day to day?”
I want to tell those people to open up their eyes - it’s just another part of being awake
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But so is sunshine and clover
You feel the wind on your face and then it’s over
But I like to play and I like to sing
Old written words to see me through what daylight brings
There are some heavy hitters coming to take me to my knees. I had one just the other day
But I would never wish them gone, I learn something every time. It’s just another part of being awake
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Harder And Harder
It’s been a long time since I heard you call my name
How many years? How little things have changed
I tried to use you - make my life go a different way
I was ready to run, ready to fly, but you said “stay, boy, stay”
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And it’s gonna get harder and harder when it’s hard enough as it is
It’s time that I do until it’s time that I go
If I said I believe, it’s the least that I owe
He stood from the temple, baby, looking down at what to choose
There was no decision, he chose me and he chose you
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Even though we make it harder and harder when it’s hard enough as it is
Cowboy Songs
Here are some cowboy songs to listen to
About men with dreams and nothing to lose
Here’s a can of corn and a spoon
Fill yourself before sun turns to moon
Watch it go
More than not you’re working to the bone
You’re too tired to make love when you get home
You’ve got ugly hands for holding but she don’t care
Sit back and feel fingers through your hair
Brother say “Oh”
Strange Change
Strange change is a good thing
Likes to rip folks apart, change the hue of my face
There’s no time like the present, no place like home for change
I could pour me a tall glass of the sky so wide
I could bicker and fuss, I could take tail and hide
But I’ll wrap around you and let the spirit inside
And let my old thoughts slide
Be still and let my words fall on water
I’m patient to see just how tall
A man can get when’s he’s got it all
See, good things came when I waited for the draught to end
My habits I could crush for you and my lust I could send away
But there’s nothing I can do to avoid that fateful day
When my beauty falls away
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Love takes time, time makes growth
Growth is a fire that burns the old me
Stealing in the night, trying to stay young
What about grey hair - what about wisdom?
What’s my name in the language of the men who came in the name of the lord?
Hallowed be the flame that burns beneath me - let me try to explain before you blame me like before
It’s all spiritual to the young, blonde, easy-going lover’s soul
But it’s “All hail” to the spirits that soar down the throat of the man who says the devil make him drink more
Time away will do us well
Take the chance that he gave us and give them hell
Endless Love
A calf caught with his head n a fence
I saw it once and I’ve felt it since
The field ‘round glowed yellow-grey and the wind cried
A cat called, the cow died
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Oh was he trying, Lord, not trying hard enough?
Had he reached the end of what I thought was an endless love?
Was he trying, Lord, not trying hard enough?
Did he reach the end of what I thought was an endless love?
It’s 3 in the morning and I’m going home
The only thing I need to find peace is to be alone
But I reach for coffee and I reach for the phone
And to extend my gaze to tomorrow is to curse my bones
I spent four years lying to myself
how I could take a bride and put her on a shelf
And I never thought I’d be writing songs
About how I hurt the girl and took too long
chorus, but about me
I wish to make amends - I want not to run
Don’t want to chase ghosts like forgiveness and fun
Though I’m a young man, I’ve made a mess of my life
But you can see the change - you know I’m gonna try
chorus about me, but more reflective :)
Something I Can’t Wait To See
Everything I see is only there to remind
Me of the things that hide
Illumination brings both beauty and a scar
Let not my wounds reflect my heart, my friend
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‘Cause it will glow
And it will rise
Into a new form made up the best that it can be
And that’s something I can’t wait to see
Living out my dreams makes it hard on the ones who try
So hard to deny
That the way things seem may not be the way things are
Let your body die, let your eyes see far
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Living out my dreams makes it hard on the ones who try
So hard to deny
That the way things seem may not be the way things are
Let your body die, let your eyes see far, my friend
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The Time
I tried to live a married life, keeping commitment in the back of my mind
Like somehow if I waited for it, situations like stars would align
As a result I’ve been building up this uncontrollable desire
That’s never happy, always trying to grab itself another spark of fire
I’ve nearly broken down each time I take the time to think of what I’ve done
Not only mine but her life’s hanging on with honesty and hope while I stay young
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Make me absent from my body
Don’t let selfishness or self-seeking desires
Keep me from the road I’m on
when I die I want to keep on seeing
Looking at my body falling down
And know there’s nothing more that bag of flesh can do
I’m off to higher ground
This year too many people I know died - it feels like something’s calling them together
Or maybe I’ve just reached an age where nothing’s hidden - I’d like to think that’s better
Jake’s a man I barely knew and Tim I never even gave the time
And what breaks my heart is knowing that the time I never gave was never mine
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When It Is Played
It’s not the tune that makes the man
Nor the words writ from his hand
But when he shakes from fear and loss
They both come crawling out of him
He will not choose the form it takes
Only its hours and its days
And then it rises from the sand
It is brought forth by no mistake
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So let it move about, let it howl and shout
Without hindering or stepping in its way
When at last it is done
You will know it by the sound of the silence in the room when it is played
Now Jacob Christopher you’ve run
From every song under the sun
By heeding words spoken o’er mine
I will not listen when you strum
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Now Jacob Christopher you’ve run
From every song under the sun
By heeding words spoken o’er mine
I will not listen when you strum
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Bullet
Barreling forward like a bullet sent wildly is a man with good intentions
He stops not, he wants not, and his breathe is giving out
Coming to meet him is an angel, flying - he’s got a load, a real crusher
He stops not, he wants loyalty
Oh I’m tired
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I’m tired of these old fears and cold lies
I need a new place where we both can hide
With new trials and new fun
I’ve got a new life and I’m ready to run like a bullet
There’s a lady in a meadow crying for a love she loves not
And high above is God on wings, he sings - he sings for her
He sings for her
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Barreling forward like a bullet sent wildly is a man with good intentions
He stops not, he wants not and his breathe is giving out
Black Hole
Father wants to talk
So here I am
Tell me what I did wrong
I’m just a man
I got my arms in a vice
I can’t shake these hard times
I can’t not give in
I don’t earn what I spend
I don’t deserve this world
I don’t deserve to sing
I’m not a man
I’m not a king
I got a wealth of lies
Like a gushing spring
And I’ve been a’floating
Towards evil things
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So break me like a horse that’s gone crazy
I’ve been drug fast to a black hole
And I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be
So I thank you now
Before you leave
Through your hidden doors
For letting me breathe
I don’t deserve this world
I don’t deserve to sing
I’m not a man
I’m not a king
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Thank You For The Bad Days
Thank you for the bad days
They keep me sharp, they keep me sane
I never will forget your name
Oh thank you for the bad days
I love to watch you open up your eyes
I love to see the bird and how it flies
I love watching the sun go ‘round and ‘round
Then the big, bad moon comes out and beats me down
Oh thank you for the hard nights
I get my tongue in trouble and my fist into a fight
I never seem to give much thought to what’s right
When I’m aching through a hard night
Keep me living, keep me feeling pain
It’s all I think I’ve felt today
I try my best to steer clear of hate
But it’s taking all I have to keep my face straight, oh
Thank you for the bad days
They keep me sharp, they keep me sane
I never will forget your name
Oh thank you for the bad days
Thank you for the hard nights
I get my tongue in trouble and my fist into a fight
I never seem to give much thought to what’s right
When I’m aching through a hard night
Easy Living
There is a darker force than you would believe -
Come to me in the mirror, not one time but three
Said “Boy, you’ve done good work up here it’s what I like to see"
In return I’ll take your life and throw it towards my slaves that need to feed
The raven cawed, my sister bawled, my feet tried to run
But every fear or dream I’ve ever had became one,
Stood before me on my path and spoke a universal tongue
But right before the kill I closed my hands and called out to the One
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Said, “I believe and I can’t deny what I’ve seen
I’ve gotta go. If I don’t I know I won’t grow
This I know”
Why would I hate my troubles when every day is a new one?
You try to take me all the way but it’s funny - I’m already done
It’s like following the leader when I’m following the Son
I try to hold the truth back but it’s burning up my tongue
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Long May I Sleep
I can’t believe myself
How could I believe someone else?
I can’t afford the shoes I wear
I bought them back before when I had cash to spare
Long may I wear them
I want the life I have to finally dig its grave
I want to lose the battle with the world I crave
Let me walk and think a while
And I’ll find and doubt the truth in every song I write
Long may I write
Now I see the way that all things come
Not a bite of food will ever touch my tongue
If it isn’t in the will of my beloved one
And truly I say, he watches every crumb
And low he hides all the things I want to bite
A handful at a time I take the things I see
Try to write them down and take them back with me
I wrestle, but the words don’t sound the way they read
It’s like trying to pull my childhood from out a dream
Long may I sleep
Insider
There was a bad thing inside of me
Trying to tell me what I should be
Saying, “Walk this way - I’ve got just the thing for you”
But he really don’t like me
Because I’m always running free
From the traps that he lays and the lies that he weaves
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You gotta bring him into the light
Just like a hunter, look dead in his eyes
Pull the trigger tight
I got away from that filthy murderer
But I’m gonna get a little bit further
There’s a million trails and all but one lead to hell
Still I’m only going one place or the other
He took my family
But he couldn’t take me
I was all alone with my insensitive beliefs (cringe)
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He’s still inside
Dead things have to rot out for a while
It’s like good mulch for the heart and the soul